Thursday, April 23, 2009

Stuart Little lives here now...

I have mice. IN MY HOUSE! The construction has evidently stirred them up. Where the hell are the stray neighborhood cats when you need them.

Meet one of the Little Family:
Little #1 scurried across my dining room floor the other night while CPA and I were watching TV. We closed in the dining room and got him within a few minutes. BTW, CPA and I rock at teamwork. CPA walked him (in a gift bag) down the street and let him free in the neighbor's ivy.

Little #2 showed up the next night. We lost him. Great.... CPA went to bed, while I stayed up to monogram. CPA sleepily walks into my office at midnight and tells me he thinks our friend is in my closet.

Me: Okay?

CPA: Will you come help me?

Me: Okay. You get something to catch him and I'll start pulling all the crap off the floor that's crammed in my tiny ass closet, so we can find him.

CPA meets me back in the bedroom with a set of those tiny Ziploc plastic containers that you'd store your last two bites of chicken salad. And a broom.

Me: Are you serious? Get a huge ass department store bag from the pantry for him to crawl into.

CPA: These are fine.

I continue to pull crap out of the closet. And by crap, I mean the 1500 bags and purses I bring home from market, which I LOVE, but have no where to store in my 3ftx4ft closet. I digress. Stuart falls out of my black fleece jacket and scurries towards CPA (still holding the powerful Ziploc containers). But not before CPA jumped 12 feet off the ground. Don't worry, I flinched a little, but was too busy laughing my ass off at the grown man with the Ziploc defense. He finally got me a big ass bag. We caught Stuart Little in the big ass bag. I handed it to CPA to walk him down the street.

CPA: Can you take him out? I'm in my PJ's.

Me: Seriously? What are you, 8? It's midnight. You take him.

So, I'm walking down the street at midnight. Because CPA's in his PJ's and I'm the best wife ever.

Little #3 wakes me up at 5a.m. He's in my closet. What the hell is in my closet that's so mouse attractive besides the small nest-like space?!! Don't worry CPA tells me to go back to sleep, we'll get em' in the morning.


  1. OMG! I would die! I hate mice! I once stayed up all night watching a mouse that I swear was there to torture me in a cabin we rented in the mountains. For some reason it only followed me around the cabin and was always in the room I was in...the bathroom, bedroom, den, etc. No one could catch it or kill it which would have been my preference. So I was up all night watching it because I was too scared to fall asleep because it might get me! Ugh! Also, Dan caught one in his house in Florence one time and let it go outside and it found its way back inside his house the next night. This went on a couple of nights until he decided to catch it, bring it to Hartsville to work with him and let it go there, thinking it wouldn't be able to scurry all the way back to Florence (20 miles). He forgot about it and it died in the parking lot of our office still in its cage! How sad!

  2. Hilarious! Especially you walking the mouse down the street...classic.